Description
Went to the gym and came back to the library, and I was just stuck in this loop like happens with narc abuse, like rumination. The effect of campers is that I'm forced to engage with whoever the most dominant camper is, who has time to walk around and be friends with everyone but is still living on the street since before I moved to this town.
This is a serious problem. Loitering should not be a posted prohibition, instead camping should be. The library is one of the few spots where loitering is encouraged, so posting a sign saying it's not allowed has one purpose: latitude to kick people out... but then some people get to camp overnight?
Went into a tangent about being appalled by seeing homeless people on smart phones, against the change of tide that happened in our culture post-2020, where before people were offended when they saw homeless people with phones. Let's bring that back.
Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkF_qhSzfNQ
Transcript
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Yo and welcome to the Ice Boog Daily Channel.
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This is an experimental tech and media brand and we're doing daily 20 minute videos.
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That's been working.
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It's been going on for about a month, but I'm starting to feel like I don't remember
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what all my topics are and I want to do more focused work.
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I need space to edit to do that and I need more resources.
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Now people started giving me a lot of donations and I stopped checking and I stopped
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checking emails for a reason I'm about to go into the computer froze about 10 minutes
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into this video so I'm going to do what I did the other day and just stitch it together
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after this.
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I was getting pretty close to having a conclusion.
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The library is now closed.
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We've got maybe another hour of daylight so I have to very quickly try to edit something
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and watch that video if I'm going to watch it and summarize at the end.
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But yeah, basically straight up libraries should not allow camping in the parking
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lot and they should not have a sign that says no loitering.
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Because loitering in the parking lot is probably appropriate if the Wi-Fi goes out there
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but camping needs to be the hard cut off because I loiter here quite a bit but I don't
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want residents as if the lot fills up too much more which new people are showing up and
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people are constantly coming through.
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I'm now at the edge of the parking lot because it's full and I'm not going to go deep
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in there but I'm now the one that everybody sees the neighbors.
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So if the neighbors band together and they're like we got to get this loitering, this
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homeless problem out of here, guess who counts in that group.
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Even if I had an apartment I might still come and use the library the same way because
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I can't record inside.
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Once I get, if I don't have internet at home I've got to come use the library in the
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same way.
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I've got to use Starbucks in the same way and I'm not alone.
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I'm starting to be appalled by homeless people with cell phones like pre 2020 people
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saw homeless people with cell phones were offended and post 2020 people got it.
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My survival guide urban camping pro broke luxuries out as a separate portion in response
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to pandemic luxuries including you can do a totally primitive basics that's whole
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first section of the book but pandemic and need for power and IT changed like there's
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formative in my work and so people now accept seeing homeless people with smartphones but
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I on the other hand don't have a smartphone at all.
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I'm starting to become appalled by seeing homeless people with smart phones who otherwise
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busted up like it's it's not earned there's no free lunch and what more could I be doing
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if I had a cell phone?
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Well if I was given a free cell phone I wouldn't be appreciating it I just be watching
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YouTube videos like these people seem to be doing you know who like who knows what productive
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uses they use them for right I can't really judge but I'm willing to bet pretty much
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everything that if you have a cell phone and our busted out broken homeless you're not
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making too much wi-fi money like you're not yeah who knows maybe maybe their sales
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people or something yo and welcome back to the IceBoog Daily Channel this is an experimental
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tech and media brand we're doing daily 20 minute videos and this is number two for the
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day I wanted to do another one just because I'm realizing I haven't you know when I stop
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checking emails I missed one video and it was because I was having a chat with this social
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butterfly who camps at the library I got loved on the guy who was pointing at me you know
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it's I don't want to have a character or a drama channel blah blah blah and I know that this
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is a small town this guy could watch the video etc but you guys are straight up waiting to
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sing real time narcissistic abuse and that's a huge claim someone goes to this guy and
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is like yo this guy's on YouTube saying you're a narcissist now what is this doing this is
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feeding this is exactly what they want they love that that would be and when does this guy
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start approaching me when I start making a bunch of videos in the parking lot hmm you're being
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not that he like of all people I don't know who's watching me I don't know who's watching closely
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I don't know what they want what do I have to gain by calling this guy a narcissist I just want
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the camping spot at the library no I want no camping allowed at the library that's really
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I almost feel like making a video to small town mayors about being extremely harsh on camping
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government property because this is actually affecting my ability to make money
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like I stopped reading my emails because I started feeling like I was going to be approached
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because I started kind I know people can't read my screen logically like even in Starbucks
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pretty close you can't see the screen like the viewing angle is not great you can't see great detail
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so it's not like you can be like lurking over there reading my emails or like using some
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camera lens to zoom in on my screen and read my emails I'm not scared of that it's just like
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seeing my facial expression it's you know and that's only like momentarily like if someone
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we're staring at me to where they can see my face I could see that
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you know like the windows are semi-tinted and shiny so it's like you can't clearly see in like
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you can sort of see the profile of so much but you can't see the facial expressions so like
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what am I afraid of why do I feel like it's not private you know is it
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it's like work cubicle level private I'm still in public people can't necessarily see my screen
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with privacy rules and stuff you have to take reasonable precautions like hovering stuff up
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if you leave your work area etc so it's like this could be a private enough space but still
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it's like I don't feel like I can come to the library and count on being left alone but even
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as someone interrupts you who cares in software engineering we say that there's like 15 minutes to
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get into flow state so someone interrupts you boom 15 minutes to get back into flow state
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that's like a working like everybody knows that in software engineering like that's how it is
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you interrupt someone it's going to take him 15 minutes to get back into the flow state do I
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need to be in flow state to read emails with the care that I want to give them yes I do
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so I can't count on coming to the library to get into flow state now that's my circumstance
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how many other people are not coming to the library now I've seen this guy get into fights with
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several people something I'm doing now is actually very common with reactive abuse you know
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people targeted by narcissistic abuse which is you just want nothing to do with them you cut them off
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but to outsiders all they see is like okay they were saying something positive about you now he was
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pointing at me talking to some people whatever when I was recording the video I walked into the
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library to do the upload and everything and again I don't want this to be like a gossip play by play
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but this is relevant because now other people are seeing me being a jerk just walking past not saying
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anything now do they know that like the more he acts like we're friends and then I just walk by
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the more of a jerk other people will think I am so what do I have to gain
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by accusing this guy of being in ours you know I'm I'm acting narcissistically whatever
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his camping spot I don't want anybody to camp at the library I want it to be I want to get rid of
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the no-loitering signs because clearly it's okay to loiter here but let's get let's put up no camping
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signs because camping needs to be the line we can't have people camping out here because you know why
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now more and more people are coming into this parking lot and I'm staying away away away I'm all the
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way up by the houses there's some some old woman I just looked over is peeking out and like
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I'm closer to the houses now and so people homeowners are now going to see me like not being at
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the back of the parking lot but creeping closer because it's full now they're going to want to
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crack down on what loitering no I want loitering to be allowed let's keep loitering but let's just
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cut off the campers but you know what let's not put me in the group of all these people who are
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camping here is a camper yeah I come here a couple times the day tops for a couple hours I might
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be here four or five hours a day I will never spend the night you know no matter what my card
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doesn't run whatever like I'm not parking at the library overnight and now so who is this guy why
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does you know I don't care I'm not asking the question I'm asking it rhetorically
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but you know he's he's got time to run around to be a social butterfly and make friends with
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everybody in this and that like does that sound like jealousy and envy as it does does it sound like
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I want to be king of this place yes it does but why does it seem like my goal is to like
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find a steady state or does it seem like my goal is to okay on some level yeah but does it seem like
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it's to find a steady state like finding places I can mooch like why am I talking about
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getting co-working space like I don't want to hang out in parking lots I'm fine sleeping in a
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vehicle on a public roadway you know a public plot you know not not a spot with the post did no
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later in sign you know and I'm saying parked on the side of a busy road yeah definitely
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in a parking lot that says no loitering no absolutely not so what what incentive do I have to
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oh my own ego like I want to be the hardworking homeless guy you know it's like I can picture
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so here's a common thing if you wonder if you're an narcissist or the narcissist
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you're probably not now am I putting on a show because I know of that and I have that awareness
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I mean everyone narcissism is a scale between narcissistic and empathetic
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and like with the case system people of a certain case have empathy within their case
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and above but not below so all right so after two crashed computers recording this we got about
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six minutes so yeah what incentive do I have to to call this guy in our assist to you know I'm
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I'm trying to make a point how critical this one resource is internet access to people who
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don't have a cell phone you know I'm a little surprised I went to the portion about
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homeless people having cell phones being appalling I have thought that for a while and a lot of
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these videos are just like I can watch them repeatedly myself and keep getting something from them
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but I'm all for and I agree with Chrome from fan city van life on this stay within the rules
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the library rules should not be no loitering because people do it it seems like
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one of the only places where it's reasonable for a person to sit in their car on Wi-Fi
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but to camp here absolutely not hard line um
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because it's affecting my ability you know like I mentioned the last I stop checking emails
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I missed the only video in this trend when this guy approached my car and then we talked I could
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of told him to stop go away whatever any time a normal person doesn't do that a normal person doesn't
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want to fight they don't want to send people away you know and then of course
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something that narcissists do is they see what you want and I'm obviously isolate and he was like
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asking questions about I just I felt so dirty after revealing this information and that's
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common like I've been documenting since like way before that I think this person's narcissistic
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because of like this really weird the first time they approached my car there was this weird
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like warm and then just like instant like like turned around and walked away and then after that
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for a long time he was being very cold to me and so what that does is sort of like make you want
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it makes you want the interaction like it makes you sort of like like fun in a way like why
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isn't this person like me and I knew consciously but then it was kind of a surprise when he approached me
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and then I'm like uh okay and then you know it it just like happened and I feel like such
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uh so gullible and I feel so foolish and it's the sort of shame where you want to hide it and
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covered up and don't tell anybody about it because it's just like you're so embarrassed that
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it happened to you but you know even professional psychologists can get taken by narcissistic people
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it's like the the frog boiling effect you know and like okay now I realize that I'm aware of it
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it's sort of like I talked about with the narcissistic person at work it's like what else is
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there to do besides putting into a week notice what the public library the only one in 10 miles
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the only one definitely in this town you know you got to travel to like the next town over to get
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to a library that's open I think just one day a week where this one's open like four I think it's
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like the same staff go to all the libraries in the area or something but it's extremely bad that
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people camp here and there's like the norm of like going up to people's cars and
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just deal with it right I mean it's so easy and simple to say that that's the reasonable thing to say
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and do but it's just I don't want to get into it with this person like I don't want to have a
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chat about our feelings and this happened that happened now I'm walking past without saying anything
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this guy did it to me for a long time too I'm not saying too wrongs make it right you know but I'm
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just saying I'm now in giving reactive abuse mode step back be polite it's not to yada yada but it's like
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look how much time I'm I'm spinning on this right it's just the the limited resources are
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always going to attract parasites and I feel so horrible saying like parasite narcissist like
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why can't we just be friends well maybe if you'd just stop being weird maybe if you just stop
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having all these theories you know what I'm saying no that's exactly how you feel in our
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cystic abuse like you might even believe you're the bad guy the bad guy but it's not all like that so
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anyway thanks for joining for this second video hopefully you got something out of it and I'm looking
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forward to see you next time thank you very much bye
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Homeless Guy RAGES against campers at library, wants same rules for everyone. (Narc Abuse, email) [2024-04-18]
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