Memo: "I'm laying in the back of my car thinking about what happened to all my friends..."
Posted: Thu Feb 29, 2024 4:46 pm
Here's the auto generated transcript for a little half hour monologue I recorded at 1am in the back of my car.
Who wants to feed it to AI and see if it can edit it into a concise letter to my old friends?
WEBVTT
00:00.000 --> 00:14.440
I'm laying in the back of my car thinking about what happened to all my friends and I think
00:14.440 --> 00:24.760
a lot of them just dropped off, and I started sending emails, I'm making calls in 2016 to
00:24.760 --> 00:42.960
18, telling what was going on, et cetera, maybe two intimate for our friendship at
00:42.960 --> 00:49.400
the time, I didn't have that tool at the time, I think about levels of intimacy, I just
00:49.400 --> 00:58.680
thought friend, my friends would be there to support me for stuff that went down
00:58.680 --> 01:14.960
and it did, and 99% of them, to 99.9%, just were not my friends there, I might have kept
01:14.960 --> 01:28.720
trying, which might have made a worse, push them away further, yeah, so would I do
01:28.720 --> 01:34.920
to show that I'm not mentally all-north addicted, I think about that, add from YouTube that
01:34.920 --> 01:41.520
said 80% of homeless people suffer from mental illness or addiction, so 20% suffer from
01:41.520 --> 01:53.880
neither according to that ad, and I view myself is in that group, it's a pretty big group,
01:53.880 --> 01:59.840
and some could say, everyone suffers from addiction, everyone suffers from health illness,
01:59.840 --> 02:09.960
and that might be true, so I was thinking about it, how do they define those things,
02:09.960 --> 02:21.560
and so okay, just within normal range or above normal range, we could say, so okay, not suffering
02:21.560 --> 02:39.560
from, mostly, is worth suffering from, like a drink coffee every day, and I can't stop,
02:39.560 --> 02:46.200
does that mean I'm addicted, well it's not for the reason you think, the reason isn't for
02:46.200 --> 02:52.320
the coffee itself, it's for the space that I get when I buy the coffee to sit down, and use
02:52.320 --> 03:03.480
my computer, and I stay way too long, like three hours, not a cup of coffee, four hours,
03:03.480 --> 03:15.000
five hours, the staff are not friendly, they're tolerant, but not friendly, I notice it does
03:15.000 --> 03:24.440
something to my mind, said I'm sure, but it's, you know, the same level as the people
03:24.440 --> 03:34.680
who stopped responding to me, but I just don't want anything to do with it, and it's
03:34.680 --> 03:46.920
understandable, but, you know, I want to put that whole, it's better to give them to receive
03:46.920 --> 03:53.720
things, obviously, that's not internalized for these people, because if you'll, what
03:53.720 --> 04:10.120
I'm going to ask them for something, okay, and I'm not going to reciprocate, I mean whatever
04:10.120 --> 04:19.640
they think, it's on them, but, like, some, one of the premise of why I started recording
04:19.640 --> 04:28.440
is, okay, so I instead of just sending off the stream of consciousness emails, hey, sit
04:28.440 --> 04:37.720
here and edit any email, so it's perfect, I don't have those tools right now, I'm in a back
04:37.720 --> 04:45.160
of a car, like, between sentences, listing for people to walk by, because they walk by very
04:45.160 --> 04:54.280
frequently and randomly, and you don't want to be making noise when they walk by and weird them
04:54.280 --> 05:06.600
out, and just go park somewhere where people don't walk by, sounds good in theory, flies,
05:06.600 --> 05:15.640
give me an option, and it's probably not viable. There's not a lot of places where you can
05:15.640 --> 05:23.760
just stop and sit in your car, if you haven't noticed, why see people do it all the time,
05:23.760 --> 05:31.040
not like I do with a computer plopped up on the steering wheel with a screen blurring on my face,
05:31.040 --> 05:35.360
they might be like looking down at the phone, and you can assume they're just there for a
05:35.360 --> 05:45.040
couple of minutes, me, I'm, like, obviously set up with a laptop, and I have to be, you can't
05:45.040 --> 05:53.680
do anything less to develop. Oh, we're talking about editing emails here, that might be
05:53.680 --> 05:58.720
a fair point. Now I don't have mobile service, I'd have to do it somewhere next to a place of
05:58.720 --> 06:12.080
Wi-Fi, or where you can write it offline and send it online in theory. So I'm like you just don't want
06:12.160 --> 06:22.640
to help yourself. This is crushingly stressful thinking about how are you wrong?
06:29.200 --> 06:38.400
Where can I pull over and edit the, you know, on a non-laptop, so they don't have a non-laptop?
06:39.120 --> 06:50.080
Yeah, if I had a non-laptop, maybe I could pull over and edit an email. So I need a new battery for my phone.
06:50.080 --> 07:10.080
I'm then I can edit an email on a phone, so that might be a problem. Everyone knows that phones
07:10.080 --> 07:19.600
are okay for writing, and I could for editing. So when I've had screen as bright as a laptop,
07:19.680 --> 07:27.200
at least I'm looking down and not at a laptop, a little bit less weird. Just show people that it's
07:27.200 --> 07:40.960
a little bit less powerful in some ways than a laptop. Oh yeah, so I write or dictate this out,
07:40.960 --> 07:45.760
and then how do we turn it into an email that's concise as points?
07:46.000 --> 07:55.680
No is of a normal format. Oh we sit down and edit it as though we wrote it,
07:58.320 --> 08:04.320
because the ones that I wrote were probably a lot like a spoke. I was assuming edit them.
08:10.640 --> 08:15.440
So now I need to turn this into an email by stopping somewhere and editing it with a laptop.
08:16.160 --> 08:27.760
So back to that question, where it's like one AM, whatever it is, what's on with your
08:27.760 --> 08:32.080
talk and where you are, where you are, that sounds so practical and logical.
08:38.880 --> 08:45.360
So I can speak sentences, but yeah, between sentences, there's no getting in the zone for 15 minutes
08:45.360 --> 08:52.480
for one. Well you don't need to get in the zone for the email, maybe you do. This kind of email, maybe you do.
09:06.960 --> 09:09.680
So kind of like linking like maybe a bike is coming.
09:15.360 --> 09:38.240
See once, like once you cook a spot, you're not going to be able to use it anymore, at least for a while,
09:38.400 --> 09:55.760
like a year or a semester. And it's not easy to find a spot in a small town. That's this good.
09:56.000 --> 10:07.280
It's like, oh, who cares if you go to a parking lot and security asks you to leave?
10:12.640 --> 10:18.400
You just don't want to get into those, because then there's a paper trail who knows who's
10:18.400 --> 10:28.800
security gossip's to. If they put you on a watch list, etc, who's subscribed to that watch list,
10:29.760 --> 10:41.440
now there's somebody outside. So, might be a delivery truck or something like that.
10:48.720 --> 10:56.560
Right, see I can't even stay on topic with my sentences, because there's just all kinds of stuff going on,
10:56.640 --> 11:04.400
even though it's 1am in the back of a car. It's like, so I just have to be so sensitive.
11:11.440 --> 11:16.080
Like, yeah, I could just disregard everything, but I went last very long out here.
11:16.800 --> 11:23.600
Reason I've lasted so long and done so well out here is because I have this sensibility to me.
11:26.560 --> 11:37.600
I very easily understand limits of things and don't violate them. I stay below the radar.
11:38.560 --> 11:46.880
Oh, ask AI to edit it for me, maybe.
11:47.520 --> 12:07.600
One of my old bosses is down with AI so I could be like, hey, what happens if you put this voice
12:07.600 --> 12:24.000
memo into AI, the transcript, can I write an email by friends discussing what I was talking about here?
12:24.640 --> 12:32.640
Maybe include the original transcript in case things are unclear.
12:39.040 --> 12:43.360
I want this to work. I want to get out of here. I want to be able to communicate with people.
12:46.480 --> 12:50.560
I don't like calling myself home unless it's not fun.
12:50.640 --> 12:54.240
It's never been fun. It's never been a vacation.
13:02.480 --> 13:07.680
I don't think people think that, but I also know that they don't understand the gravity of this situation.
13:09.120 --> 13:13.360
And they don't understand why I'm not doing more. I cannot do more.
13:13.440 --> 13:22.960
I'm capped at a certain level of productivity if I can do endless writing, but no editing.
13:26.800 --> 13:33.120
If people not accept written work, only edited work, then people not accept anything.
13:33.120 --> 13:41.520
I say for a very long time because I do not have the space to sit down and edit things.
13:44.000 --> 13:58.960
And I don't blame people for thinking what they think or having standards.
14:01.360 --> 14:08.720
I wish that a relationship could cause them to overlook or rethink those standards in some context like
14:13.760 --> 14:20.160
your homeless friend needs help. He's sending you emails, perhaps, manically.
14:23.840 --> 14:31.920
Normally, that would indicate something with the skies literally living in the back of a car or
14:31.920 --> 14:42.960
in a domestic violence situation. And he's telling me, and I'll just click delete
14:43.840 --> 14:57.440
Okay, that's your right. But it's not mental illness, or addiction. It's literally just
14:58.800 --> 15:03.600
okay, I've got one day to raise $150. I've got no work prospects.
15:04.560 --> 15:15.520
So you just want to ask for money. Well, notice the time window of I have one day to come up with $150.
15:17.840 --> 15:22.240
So every month we have bills. So like once a month I might get in the situation.
15:22.240 --> 15:35.440
So the odds of it are 1 in 30 or maybe 1 in 15 if it's ever two weeks on average of bill comes.
15:40.640 --> 15:47.920
But it's like they might be like, okay, well I just had a kid and we'll just let the baby cry it out.
15:47.920 --> 15:56.400
Once the baby can form, say what it wants and we'll give it to it. But until then we'll just let it cry.
15:58.480 --> 16:05.360
Well, that works in the context of a baby with parents that grows in capability.
16:06.160 --> 16:10.720
I'm out here on the street with nothing because my parents didn't do their job.
16:11.040 --> 16:20.800
And my capabilities are shrinking. So I send a manic email one day the next day I have less
16:20.800 --> 16:29.280
capability. So it's going to be better in quality the next day. Well that's why you just try harder,
16:29.280 --> 16:34.880
try hardest in the beginning. I'm trying hardest in the beginning. I talked about the
16:34.880 --> 16:42.320
challenges to finding somewhere to edit. Good, the library. Yep, three days a week it's closed.
16:42.320 --> 16:50.800
Sunday Monday one stay. It opens at 9 a.m. I'm up at 435 out of here 536.
16:56.720 --> 17:04.720
So from 6 in the morning I have to find somewhere to be. Go to the gym, take a shower, work out.
17:04.960 --> 17:13.840
Maybe. Go to a Starbucks for a few hours. 9 a.m. 10 a.m. the library opens.
17:13.840 --> 17:18.960
Welcome as well worn out. Don't want to be the first since the library can kind of start
17:18.960 --> 17:29.280
up until 11 to have already spent four or five hours there. Welcome well worn out. People
17:29.280 --> 17:36.880
very not friendly to me. Customers stare at me. I'm probably there day after day after day and
17:36.880 --> 17:51.760
they're starting to notice. Nobody's like how could I help you. They're just like how could I get rid of you.
17:52.400 --> 18:06.080
Dealing with the management at work. You know, they start sensing my homeless best trading me.
18:06.560 --> 18:13.360
Oh, why would they mistreat you because your home was forced me to leave?
18:29.040 --> 18:33.200
My mom and brother used to tell me about people doing it to them and I doubted them and said,
18:33.200 --> 18:38.720
I'll just just this or that, you know, the exact response people would give to me now.
18:45.600 --> 18:53.440
See, I could have helped my mom and brother. But I was like everybody is to me now.
18:55.280 --> 19:00.640
And I'm so terrible for that, but they're not so terrible for this. Oh, we're talking about your
19:00.640 --> 19:13.200
mom and brother here, not some friend. Weasels chosen family.
19:20.480 --> 19:22.880
People used to call me brother. They won't help me.
19:22.880 --> 19:34.800
Yeah. I gave all my time. I'm not my real brother. He's now passed. Oh, see you're just looking
19:34.800 --> 19:39.280
for pity. My mom is past. Oh, you're just looking for pity.
19:40.160 --> 19:51.360
Oh, both suspiciously passed.
20:00.800 --> 20:04.800
And yeah, I think at least one of them was murdered if not both.
20:09.280 --> 20:24.560
Well, it does sound like you're mentally ill, buddy. And if you knew my dad,
20:26.000 --> 20:30.800
you would think he's the best guy ever. So helpful, loving generous.
20:34.000 --> 20:36.640
Such a big community of people all this and that.
20:40.240 --> 20:48.080
And if you listen to him, he'll talk about how, you know, I'm I'm so terrible in this
20:48.080 --> 20:53.600
if they have to be able to believe because he's such a good guy. And yeah, I can't even write an email.
20:54.560 --> 21:13.520
Well, it sure has been while nobody's logged by. So sounds like you can sit down and edit
21:13.600 --> 21:16.560
their body.
21:19.040 --> 21:21.600
Walk. Thank you.
21:24.880 --> 21:26.880
It does sound like that.
21:27.760 --> 21:52.800
Yeah, and again, and as well, who's going to read an email this long? Or listen to it this,
21:53.040 --> 22:08.400
you know, recording this long and pay full attention. So the points are if 80% of almost people,
22:09.760 --> 22:18.880
whatever that means, suffer from mental illness or addiction, and that implies 20%
22:19.200 --> 22:26.240
suffering from neither mental illness nor addiction, which is cool.
22:28.080 --> 22:38.240
Now, there's writing and editing, and I can write, but I need space to get in this own to edit.
22:42.640 --> 22:48.320
Probably not on a phone. Maybe on an iPad if I had one, I do have a laptop.
22:49.440 --> 22:53.440
There's limited spots. You can pull over and use the laptop.
22:58.240 --> 23:09.760
And I'm writing this now, not editing it from a sleeping spot on the side of the road in the middle
23:09.760 --> 23:16.400
of the night. Or if I were to turn on a bright screen, it would be a problem. I'm talking to a little
23:16.480 --> 23:23.680
voice memo to place. And, you know, I sent manic emails to people. They might have
23:24.240 --> 23:32.800
maybe think I was mentally ill, made them think I'm mentally ill. But, contextually, I was homeless
23:32.800 --> 23:43.040
and losing resources. You know, background, roar of dress. I've not used that word in the email,
23:43.040 --> 23:54.080
but I'm using it in the summary. And, you know, people being dishonest to get rid of me
23:54.080 --> 24:07.600
because of their perceptions of me, it doesn't help. So, yeah, I'm out here deteriorating.
24:13.360 --> 24:27.600
And now a person might be walking by. And now a person may be walking by. We'll see if it picks up
24:27.600 --> 24:36.880
that whisper transcription. See, now I'm interrupting the summary, breaking the flow.
24:36.880 --> 24:39.280
So, I should recover it.
24:48.320 --> 24:52.240
This will make my mind stronger and be stronger and better in the end.
24:54.000 --> 25:02.160
But, I'm sitting here, I need a bill. To be paid, I need my storage,
25:02.160 --> 25:07.680
and my gem bills to be paid. Tomorrow, or I can't take showers, I need more.
25:08.560 --> 25:13.680
Oh, then find a shelter with a shower. Absolutely disturbing.
25:16.240 --> 25:21.200
Disruptive, having to do that kind of thing. This is working. Time is money.
25:21.600 --> 25:36.880
And my storage, I'll just pause some stuff from storage. Again, time is money, and basically
25:36.880 --> 25:41.840
everything I have is an asset, not meaningless, or useless.
25:41.840 --> 25:53.920
So, hopefully this can be edited by AI. That would be a game changer.
26:04.320 --> 26:09.120
And I mean, just so that, you know, I'm not begging him for higher for 60 to an hour.
26:10.000 --> 26:15.040
I've been publicizing that for months. So, if you've guessed that,
26:17.120 --> 26:25.040
that's too bad. I've got two accounts on Twitter. I've got a very quiet one that tweets very rarely.
26:25.040 --> 26:31.280
Important things like that. I've tweeted that, and I've got an OISI one that tweets every day.
26:31.280 --> 26:32.160
I'll bunch of stuff.
26:32.400 --> 26:43.680
So, if you're not at least following the quiet one, I don't know what to say.
26:44.960 --> 26:53.520
Because that's a tool there. And you've got time to go on Twitter. So, you've got time to follow me.
26:54.480 --> 26:56.080
As might be said to me.
27:03.920 --> 27:10.640
That's the whole other topic, because I don't look into people either. So, I haven't followed anybody in a very long time.
27:13.520 --> 27:19.200
I don't know if I want to start, but it'd be on a case by case basis, I think.
27:24.480 --> 27:35.760
I know it's been six to ten plus years since I've seen a lot of people who I tried to talk to.
27:37.440 --> 27:43.760
Send these emails to. That's unfortunate. I could find better ways to stay in touch.
27:44.800 --> 27:49.680
I haven't been able to edit since I've been up here on the street and before that, okay,
27:49.680 --> 27:51.440
I might have dropped the ball before that.
27:54.480 --> 28:01.280
It's hard to say, because so much time has gone by, I don't remember.
28:02.880 --> 28:05.040
I could remember on a case by case basis.
28:06.800 --> 28:11.600
But my life circumstances, the baseline assumption is all changed so much.
28:12.720 --> 28:19.520
That remembering is one thing, but then mapping the context now is something different as well.
28:19.920 --> 28:24.320
So, yeah, I'm no I'm adding stuff as I'm trying to summarize.
28:26.720 --> 28:29.120
To or do not, there is no try, indeed.
28:32.160 --> 28:38.000
So, hopefully AI can edit this into something that covers everything. I'd be interested to see that.
28:39.680 --> 28:41.280
So, thanks for
28:41.520 --> 28:48.160
you. See here come people at the very end.
28:52.560 --> 28:55.840
Thanks for listening.
Who wants to feed it to AI and see if it can edit it into a concise letter to my old friends?
WEBVTT
00:00.000 --> 00:14.440
I'm laying in the back of my car thinking about what happened to all my friends and I think
00:14.440 --> 00:24.760
a lot of them just dropped off, and I started sending emails, I'm making calls in 2016 to
00:24.760 --> 00:42.960
18, telling what was going on, et cetera, maybe two intimate for our friendship at
00:42.960 --> 00:49.400
the time, I didn't have that tool at the time, I think about levels of intimacy, I just
00:49.400 --> 00:58.680
thought friend, my friends would be there to support me for stuff that went down
00:58.680 --> 01:14.960
and it did, and 99% of them, to 99.9%, just were not my friends there, I might have kept
01:14.960 --> 01:28.720
trying, which might have made a worse, push them away further, yeah, so would I do
01:28.720 --> 01:34.920
to show that I'm not mentally all-north addicted, I think about that, add from YouTube that
01:34.920 --> 01:41.520
said 80% of homeless people suffer from mental illness or addiction, so 20% suffer from
01:41.520 --> 01:53.880
neither according to that ad, and I view myself is in that group, it's a pretty big group,
01:53.880 --> 01:59.840
and some could say, everyone suffers from addiction, everyone suffers from health illness,
01:59.840 --> 02:09.960
and that might be true, so I was thinking about it, how do they define those things,
02:09.960 --> 02:21.560
and so okay, just within normal range or above normal range, we could say, so okay, not suffering
02:21.560 --> 02:39.560
from, mostly, is worth suffering from, like a drink coffee every day, and I can't stop,
02:39.560 --> 02:46.200
does that mean I'm addicted, well it's not for the reason you think, the reason isn't for
02:46.200 --> 02:52.320
the coffee itself, it's for the space that I get when I buy the coffee to sit down, and use
02:52.320 --> 03:03.480
my computer, and I stay way too long, like three hours, not a cup of coffee, four hours,
03:03.480 --> 03:15.000
five hours, the staff are not friendly, they're tolerant, but not friendly, I notice it does
03:15.000 --> 03:24.440
something to my mind, said I'm sure, but it's, you know, the same level as the people
03:24.440 --> 03:34.680
who stopped responding to me, but I just don't want anything to do with it, and it's
03:34.680 --> 03:46.920
understandable, but, you know, I want to put that whole, it's better to give them to receive
03:46.920 --> 03:53.720
things, obviously, that's not internalized for these people, because if you'll, what
03:53.720 --> 04:10.120
I'm going to ask them for something, okay, and I'm not going to reciprocate, I mean whatever
04:10.120 --> 04:19.640
they think, it's on them, but, like, some, one of the premise of why I started recording
04:19.640 --> 04:28.440
is, okay, so I instead of just sending off the stream of consciousness emails, hey, sit
04:28.440 --> 04:37.720
here and edit any email, so it's perfect, I don't have those tools right now, I'm in a back
04:37.720 --> 04:45.160
of a car, like, between sentences, listing for people to walk by, because they walk by very
04:45.160 --> 04:54.280
frequently and randomly, and you don't want to be making noise when they walk by and weird them
04:54.280 --> 05:06.600
out, and just go park somewhere where people don't walk by, sounds good in theory, flies,
05:06.600 --> 05:15.640
give me an option, and it's probably not viable. There's not a lot of places where you can
05:15.640 --> 05:23.760
just stop and sit in your car, if you haven't noticed, why see people do it all the time,
05:23.760 --> 05:31.040
not like I do with a computer plopped up on the steering wheel with a screen blurring on my face,
05:31.040 --> 05:35.360
they might be like looking down at the phone, and you can assume they're just there for a
05:35.360 --> 05:45.040
couple of minutes, me, I'm, like, obviously set up with a laptop, and I have to be, you can't
05:45.040 --> 05:53.680
do anything less to develop. Oh, we're talking about editing emails here, that might be
05:53.680 --> 05:58.720
a fair point. Now I don't have mobile service, I'd have to do it somewhere next to a place of
05:58.720 --> 06:12.080
Wi-Fi, or where you can write it offline and send it online in theory. So I'm like you just don't want
06:12.160 --> 06:22.640
to help yourself. This is crushingly stressful thinking about how are you wrong?
06:29.200 --> 06:38.400
Where can I pull over and edit the, you know, on a non-laptop, so they don't have a non-laptop?
06:39.120 --> 06:50.080
Yeah, if I had a non-laptop, maybe I could pull over and edit an email. So I need a new battery for my phone.
06:50.080 --> 07:10.080
I'm then I can edit an email on a phone, so that might be a problem. Everyone knows that phones
07:10.080 --> 07:19.600
are okay for writing, and I could for editing. So when I've had screen as bright as a laptop,
07:19.680 --> 07:27.200
at least I'm looking down and not at a laptop, a little bit less weird. Just show people that it's
07:27.200 --> 07:40.960
a little bit less powerful in some ways than a laptop. Oh yeah, so I write or dictate this out,
07:40.960 --> 07:45.760
and then how do we turn it into an email that's concise as points?
07:46.000 --> 07:55.680
No is of a normal format. Oh we sit down and edit it as though we wrote it,
07:58.320 --> 08:04.320
because the ones that I wrote were probably a lot like a spoke. I was assuming edit them.
08:10.640 --> 08:15.440
So now I need to turn this into an email by stopping somewhere and editing it with a laptop.
08:16.160 --> 08:27.760
So back to that question, where it's like one AM, whatever it is, what's on with your
08:27.760 --> 08:32.080
talk and where you are, where you are, that sounds so practical and logical.
08:38.880 --> 08:45.360
So I can speak sentences, but yeah, between sentences, there's no getting in the zone for 15 minutes
08:45.360 --> 08:52.480
for one. Well you don't need to get in the zone for the email, maybe you do. This kind of email, maybe you do.
09:06.960 --> 09:09.680
So kind of like linking like maybe a bike is coming.
09:15.360 --> 09:38.240
See once, like once you cook a spot, you're not going to be able to use it anymore, at least for a while,
09:38.400 --> 09:55.760
like a year or a semester. And it's not easy to find a spot in a small town. That's this good.
09:56.000 --> 10:07.280
It's like, oh, who cares if you go to a parking lot and security asks you to leave?
10:12.640 --> 10:18.400
You just don't want to get into those, because then there's a paper trail who knows who's
10:18.400 --> 10:28.800
security gossip's to. If they put you on a watch list, etc, who's subscribed to that watch list,
10:29.760 --> 10:41.440
now there's somebody outside. So, might be a delivery truck or something like that.
10:48.720 --> 10:56.560
Right, see I can't even stay on topic with my sentences, because there's just all kinds of stuff going on,
10:56.640 --> 11:04.400
even though it's 1am in the back of a car. It's like, so I just have to be so sensitive.
11:11.440 --> 11:16.080
Like, yeah, I could just disregard everything, but I went last very long out here.
11:16.800 --> 11:23.600
Reason I've lasted so long and done so well out here is because I have this sensibility to me.
11:26.560 --> 11:37.600
I very easily understand limits of things and don't violate them. I stay below the radar.
11:38.560 --> 11:46.880
Oh, ask AI to edit it for me, maybe.
11:47.520 --> 12:07.600
One of my old bosses is down with AI so I could be like, hey, what happens if you put this voice
12:07.600 --> 12:24.000
memo into AI, the transcript, can I write an email by friends discussing what I was talking about here?
12:24.640 --> 12:32.640
Maybe include the original transcript in case things are unclear.
12:39.040 --> 12:43.360
I want this to work. I want to get out of here. I want to be able to communicate with people.
12:46.480 --> 12:50.560
I don't like calling myself home unless it's not fun.
12:50.640 --> 12:54.240
It's never been fun. It's never been a vacation.
13:02.480 --> 13:07.680
I don't think people think that, but I also know that they don't understand the gravity of this situation.
13:09.120 --> 13:13.360
And they don't understand why I'm not doing more. I cannot do more.
13:13.440 --> 13:22.960
I'm capped at a certain level of productivity if I can do endless writing, but no editing.
13:26.800 --> 13:33.120
If people not accept written work, only edited work, then people not accept anything.
13:33.120 --> 13:41.520
I say for a very long time because I do not have the space to sit down and edit things.
13:44.000 --> 13:58.960
And I don't blame people for thinking what they think or having standards.
14:01.360 --> 14:08.720
I wish that a relationship could cause them to overlook or rethink those standards in some context like
14:13.760 --> 14:20.160
your homeless friend needs help. He's sending you emails, perhaps, manically.
14:23.840 --> 14:31.920
Normally, that would indicate something with the skies literally living in the back of a car or
14:31.920 --> 14:42.960
in a domestic violence situation. And he's telling me, and I'll just click delete
14:43.840 --> 14:57.440
Okay, that's your right. But it's not mental illness, or addiction. It's literally just
14:58.800 --> 15:03.600
okay, I've got one day to raise $150. I've got no work prospects.
15:04.560 --> 15:15.520
So you just want to ask for money. Well, notice the time window of I have one day to come up with $150.
15:17.840 --> 15:22.240
So every month we have bills. So like once a month I might get in the situation.
15:22.240 --> 15:35.440
So the odds of it are 1 in 30 or maybe 1 in 15 if it's ever two weeks on average of bill comes.
15:40.640 --> 15:47.920
But it's like they might be like, okay, well I just had a kid and we'll just let the baby cry it out.
15:47.920 --> 15:56.400
Once the baby can form, say what it wants and we'll give it to it. But until then we'll just let it cry.
15:58.480 --> 16:05.360
Well, that works in the context of a baby with parents that grows in capability.
16:06.160 --> 16:10.720
I'm out here on the street with nothing because my parents didn't do their job.
16:11.040 --> 16:20.800
And my capabilities are shrinking. So I send a manic email one day the next day I have less
16:20.800 --> 16:29.280
capability. So it's going to be better in quality the next day. Well that's why you just try harder,
16:29.280 --> 16:34.880
try hardest in the beginning. I'm trying hardest in the beginning. I talked about the
16:34.880 --> 16:42.320
challenges to finding somewhere to edit. Good, the library. Yep, three days a week it's closed.
16:42.320 --> 16:50.800
Sunday Monday one stay. It opens at 9 a.m. I'm up at 435 out of here 536.
16:56.720 --> 17:04.720
So from 6 in the morning I have to find somewhere to be. Go to the gym, take a shower, work out.
17:04.960 --> 17:13.840
Maybe. Go to a Starbucks for a few hours. 9 a.m. 10 a.m. the library opens.
17:13.840 --> 17:18.960
Welcome as well worn out. Don't want to be the first since the library can kind of start
17:18.960 --> 17:29.280
up until 11 to have already spent four or five hours there. Welcome well worn out. People
17:29.280 --> 17:36.880
very not friendly to me. Customers stare at me. I'm probably there day after day after day and
17:36.880 --> 17:51.760
they're starting to notice. Nobody's like how could I help you. They're just like how could I get rid of you.
17:52.400 --> 18:06.080
Dealing with the management at work. You know, they start sensing my homeless best trading me.
18:06.560 --> 18:13.360
Oh, why would they mistreat you because your home was forced me to leave?
18:29.040 --> 18:33.200
My mom and brother used to tell me about people doing it to them and I doubted them and said,
18:33.200 --> 18:38.720
I'll just just this or that, you know, the exact response people would give to me now.
18:45.600 --> 18:53.440
See, I could have helped my mom and brother. But I was like everybody is to me now.
18:55.280 --> 19:00.640
And I'm so terrible for that, but they're not so terrible for this. Oh, we're talking about your
19:00.640 --> 19:13.200
mom and brother here, not some friend. Weasels chosen family.
19:20.480 --> 19:22.880
People used to call me brother. They won't help me.
19:22.880 --> 19:34.800
Yeah. I gave all my time. I'm not my real brother. He's now passed. Oh, see you're just looking
19:34.800 --> 19:39.280
for pity. My mom is past. Oh, you're just looking for pity.
19:40.160 --> 19:51.360
Oh, both suspiciously passed.
20:00.800 --> 20:04.800
And yeah, I think at least one of them was murdered if not both.
20:09.280 --> 20:24.560
Well, it does sound like you're mentally ill, buddy. And if you knew my dad,
20:26.000 --> 20:30.800
you would think he's the best guy ever. So helpful, loving generous.
20:34.000 --> 20:36.640
Such a big community of people all this and that.
20:40.240 --> 20:48.080
And if you listen to him, he'll talk about how, you know, I'm I'm so terrible in this
20:48.080 --> 20:53.600
if they have to be able to believe because he's such a good guy. And yeah, I can't even write an email.
20:54.560 --> 21:13.520
Well, it sure has been while nobody's logged by. So sounds like you can sit down and edit
21:13.600 --> 21:16.560
their body.
21:19.040 --> 21:21.600
Walk. Thank you.
21:24.880 --> 21:26.880
It does sound like that.
21:27.760 --> 21:52.800
Yeah, and again, and as well, who's going to read an email this long? Or listen to it this,
21:53.040 --> 22:08.400
you know, recording this long and pay full attention. So the points are if 80% of almost people,
22:09.760 --> 22:18.880
whatever that means, suffer from mental illness or addiction, and that implies 20%
22:19.200 --> 22:26.240
suffering from neither mental illness nor addiction, which is cool.
22:28.080 --> 22:38.240
Now, there's writing and editing, and I can write, but I need space to get in this own to edit.
22:42.640 --> 22:48.320
Probably not on a phone. Maybe on an iPad if I had one, I do have a laptop.
22:49.440 --> 22:53.440
There's limited spots. You can pull over and use the laptop.
22:58.240 --> 23:09.760
And I'm writing this now, not editing it from a sleeping spot on the side of the road in the middle
23:09.760 --> 23:16.400
of the night. Or if I were to turn on a bright screen, it would be a problem. I'm talking to a little
23:16.480 --> 23:23.680
voice memo to place. And, you know, I sent manic emails to people. They might have
23:24.240 --> 23:32.800
maybe think I was mentally ill, made them think I'm mentally ill. But, contextually, I was homeless
23:32.800 --> 23:43.040
and losing resources. You know, background, roar of dress. I've not used that word in the email,
23:43.040 --> 23:54.080
but I'm using it in the summary. And, you know, people being dishonest to get rid of me
23:54.080 --> 24:07.600
because of their perceptions of me, it doesn't help. So, yeah, I'm out here deteriorating.
24:13.360 --> 24:27.600
And now a person might be walking by. And now a person may be walking by. We'll see if it picks up
24:27.600 --> 24:36.880
that whisper transcription. See, now I'm interrupting the summary, breaking the flow.
24:36.880 --> 24:39.280
So, I should recover it.
24:48.320 --> 24:52.240
This will make my mind stronger and be stronger and better in the end.
24:54.000 --> 25:02.160
But, I'm sitting here, I need a bill. To be paid, I need my storage,
25:02.160 --> 25:07.680
and my gem bills to be paid. Tomorrow, or I can't take showers, I need more.
25:08.560 --> 25:13.680
Oh, then find a shelter with a shower. Absolutely disturbing.
25:16.240 --> 25:21.200
Disruptive, having to do that kind of thing. This is working. Time is money.
25:21.600 --> 25:36.880
And my storage, I'll just pause some stuff from storage. Again, time is money, and basically
25:36.880 --> 25:41.840
everything I have is an asset, not meaningless, or useless.
25:41.840 --> 25:53.920
So, hopefully this can be edited by AI. That would be a game changer.
26:04.320 --> 26:09.120
And I mean, just so that, you know, I'm not begging him for higher for 60 to an hour.
26:10.000 --> 26:15.040
I've been publicizing that for months. So, if you've guessed that,
26:17.120 --> 26:25.040
that's too bad. I've got two accounts on Twitter. I've got a very quiet one that tweets very rarely.
26:25.040 --> 26:31.280
Important things like that. I've tweeted that, and I've got an OISI one that tweets every day.
26:31.280 --> 26:32.160
I'll bunch of stuff.
26:32.400 --> 26:43.680
So, if you're not at least following the quiet one, I don't know what to say.
26:44.960 --> 26:53.520
Because that's a tool there. And you've got time to go on Twitter. So, you've got time to follow me.
26:54.480 --> 26:56.080
As might be said to me.
27:03.920 --> 27:10.640
That's the whole other topic, because I don't look into people either. So, I haven't followed anybody in a very long time.
27:13.520 --> 27:19.200
I don't know if I want to start, but it'd be on a case by case basis, I think.
27:24.480 --> 27:35.760
I know it's been six to ten plus years since I've seen a lot of people who I tried to talk to.
27:37.440 --> 27:43.760
Send these emails to. That's unfortunate. I could find better ways to stay in touch.
27:44.800 --> 27:49.680
I haven't been able to edit since I've been up here on the street and before that, okay,
27:49.680 --> 27:51.440
I might have dropped the ball before that.
27:54.480 --> 28:01.280
It's hard to say, because so much time has gone by, I don't remember.
28:02.880 --> 28:05.040
I could remember on a case by case basis.
28:06.800 --> 28:11.600
But my life circumstances, the baseline assumption is all changed so much.
28:12.720 --> 28:19.520
That remembering is one thing, but then mapping the context now is something different as well.
28:19.920 --> 28:24.320
So, yeah, I'm no I'm adding stuff as I'm trying to summarize.
28:26.720 --> 28:29.120
To or do not, there is no try, indeed.
28:32.160 --> 28:38.000
So, hopefully AI can edit this into something that covers everything. I'd be interested to see that.
28:39.680 --> 28:41.280
So, thanks for
28:41.520 --> 28:48.160
you. See here come people at the very end.
28:52.560 --> 28:55.840
Thanks for listening.