Homeless Guy On Empathy in Reachability, Growing Into Creatorhood from Big Tech Software Engineering [2024-04-12]
Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2024 5:37 pm
Description
Thinking about working and consuming fine products, artisanship. Ways to realize new ideas with limited time, methods to capture ideas in the dish pit. How empathy and reading energy can make checking email difficult, wanting to give due care and process things in a fair order. Acclimation periods, expectations, options. Just treating the channel like therapy in a sense.
Thanks for joining.
Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwfav-nLT-Q
Transcript
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Yo and welcome to the iSpoog daily channel.
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This is an experimental tech and media brand and last month I decided I would upload
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10 videos and the videos were popular and I've kept on doing it.
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A lot of the videos, I have no idea what I'm going to talk about when I start the video.
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Stuff comes out and it's kind of therapeutic for me.
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I don't need to do it but it does feel nice to have quote unquote somebody to talk to.
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It does feel not good knowing that I'm not listening.
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I'm not checking the emails.
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I was in box zero at the beginning of the year but a few emails that I got just sort of
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of maybe want to put time into the response and that made me delay checking again and
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now it's been like two weeks and I'm not checking my email still.
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And I could probably as you guys can guess do that instead of uploading these videos.
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I'd say that total time I spend on these videos is 30 minutes per day and the emails that
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I did respond to could have taken 15 to 20 minutes to write the response.
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I don't edit it super hard but I also don't want to send it without do care.
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And I can only hope that people understand these are videos of a homeless guy uploading
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stuff and there are certain assumptions I think people make about people with a social media presence
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related to how much wealth they have.
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I don't have a cell phone.
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I don't have internet access.
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Hence I was being at the library in the parking lot.
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I can't record inside the library but I can record in the parking lot and I'm still within
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Wi-Fi range.
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I don't come here after dark or before lights.
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Maybe like in the shortest of short days I might be here for a little while after dark
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or a little while before lights but other than that you know that's like a month or two per
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you know I'm new to this town as well.
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Library is also only open four days a week as well and if it's a holiday we can
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might be closed one or two more days so it's really closed a lot.
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And now that it's closed the background noise kind of gone I can open up my windows a little bit.
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But yeah so as far as the experimental tech you can see that all at the beginning of the channel.
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Like while I was still in my apartment I was going every day with the live hacking
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streams and you know whiteboard exploring topics on a whiteboard.
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Videos where I share some ideas about software architecture etc.
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You know being that that's my main field of expertise that I worked in for well over two decades.
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And it's still I feel my field of expertise but I obviously don't well I can't say obvious.
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I look like a pretty normal software engineer on video.
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But yeah I am definitely homeless I just put a lot of energy into.
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Yeah I worked with great marketing teams and you know in general product people.
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Both in software and even in hospitality and food I've been a customer at great hospitality and food places so.
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I do have an eye for fineness and detail and.
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Artisanship like.
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It shows when people put great love into their work.
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Not all work needs great love put into it but work with great love put into it stands out.
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And matching energy matching vibration I stand out to a lot of people for some reason.
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And I can't see it within myself.
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Other people see it within me I believe them when they say that it's there.
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I may not know what it is whatever but.
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You know being that there's been so much of a vibrational match between me and fine things in life.
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I can definitely believe that there's a fineness to myself.
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You know no argument there I don't know what it is.
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Good lord so many ideas for things to talk to so I work in a dish.
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In the kitchen I.
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You know I do some food prep as well but I work in the dish pit for the most part and that's.
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I the only place I'd rather be is in the software engineering equivalent of the dish pit.
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You know data engineering something like that what I used to do.
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But if I can't do that put me in the dish pit.
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You know.
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But yeah I mean I could bring a voice memo into the dish pit for example.
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I'd want to dedicate it one that I bring to the workplace that no personal notes end up on the device.
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I'm having worked in big tech I'm pretty.
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Adamant on separating my devices home and work.
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Might not be a big deal in a dish pit but I'd rather just not bring my personal device into there.
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I mean it would be a personal device but it would be like a dedicated personal device where I you know.
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I really limit what I talk about.
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And when I talk about voice recorder so this is what I carry around on the day to day for myself.
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It's got record play pause forward back delete folder.
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Yeah and then on the side volume some menu stuff some switches a lock button and SD card slot and a data transfer wire and it does take its own.
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Batteries AAA I could get rechargeable AAA if I wanted to.
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I'm sure there's some kind of like USB plug-able AAA type battery on the market.
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I just had that idea I'm sure someone else has it must exist.
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I think USB voltage anyway.
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Kind of a tangent but yeah rechargeable option would be good.
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I've just been pretty poor up until now so I got some regular AAAs for it.
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But yeah how weird would it be for a dishwasher too.
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I record voice memos and then when I'm done with my voice memos and I go hiking or something I transcribe them to text.
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And in theory that would be input into this process but it hasn't actually been in practice yet.
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I build my own apps I've got a ton of apps that work but aren't good enough to ship.
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I'm so tired of being homeless.
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And I know the answer is gonna be well check your email then I know.
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Looks seem to be deceiving I look like a guy who would have email.
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I need one I do have email I do other things like record these videos.
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I've thought of ways to check my email.
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I know I need to be checking my emails but I'm so resistant to doing it.
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Before I got to inbox zero this year I didn't check my email like months and months at a time.
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Because if you're not expecting any emails for anything constructive like check.
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It's an opening where people can email you and you don't want to hear from them.
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And people are perfectly within their right thing you know people would be perfectly justified to throw up their hands and say well I can't work with this.
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People would be perfectly justified having that response.
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Being angry with me trying to sue me I don't know.
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It's almost the office space attitude it's not that I don't care.
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It's just that I don't even remember.
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Not a big movie guy either.
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I had some favorite movies in high school and a little beyond but I really watched movies I just filled.
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Build software.
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I do curate things to a degree.
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I'm not sure why I'm talking about this.
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But it's Friday night.
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I got nowhere to be.
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I've already worked.
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I've already worked out.
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I've already taken a shower.
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I've already given myself a haircut.
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I can go find a wife Jack.
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I mean that's pretty much what's left to do.
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I got to do my laundry.
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But you can't tell that I haven't watched this shirt in a month Kenya.
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I've worn it every day 24 hours a day.
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Sleep in it.
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I take it off and wear a different shirt for work.
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I am set to go to the laundry mat.
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I could find my wife Jack at the laundry mat.
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I haven't had alcohol since last summer.
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I could go have my first drink of the year.
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One of the guys that work studied by me a beer.
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I could go see if he's there and be like, oh, you want to buy me that beer, man.
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Now, part of living in my car means I don't really want to drink alcohol even if it's only a little bit.
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If I got a hotel room, then I'd be all down to maybe even get sloppy.
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I do think that drinking after marriage is wrong.
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I know a lot of people will disagree with that.
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See, I can't be friends with sober people.
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I can't be friends with drugs.
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I can't be friends with vegans.
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I can't be friends with non vegans.
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I can't be friends with software engineers.
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I can't be friends non software engineers.
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I just can't be friends with pretty much anyone.
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That's okay.
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It's because my views are just, they're not intentionally difficult.
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They're nuanced, but they're difficult to nuanced.
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Like if you go back about my kitchen, a terrian.
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Like, I just sound like a person with no boundaries who's like in a desperate situation.
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And yes, that's true.
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That's true.
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But that desperate situation forced me to come up with that.
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And I'm just finding a way to be at peace with the fact that like,
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okay, I got this job in a kitchen that has meats.
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And I really hate throwing stuff away, especially when I'm like 20 pounds under weight and hungry.
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I need to find a way to like, you know, to eat it.
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Yeah, I could get another job.
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It's even possible that that job was thrown onto my lap as a test.
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And I'm failing the test by not being vegan.
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It's possible that some vegans in my inbox right now trying to hire me.
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I'm not even looking.
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Does this mean I'm a reprobate, unrepentant, unremorseful?
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Kind of looks that way about veganism, doesn't it?
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Just an unremorseful non-vegan?
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I need a rest, man.
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Does that make me weak?
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I don't know what to say about all this.
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Not being reachable stuff.
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I don't want to be reachable.
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I don't want to be a creator, in fact.
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I want to make tools for creators.
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But if there's creators in my inbox right now, being like, yo,
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I saw that you want to make tools for creators.
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I need some tools, man.
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I'd be happy to get that email.
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I think the empathetic narcissist thinks that, I don't know.
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I think I just feel too bad skipping over certain emails to get to the ones I want.
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I think I'm actually too fair to check my email.
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I might be at.
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Like, I'm getting to the point where I said, you know,
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probably after my third paycheck, I won't be.
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I won't have to call myself homeless anymore.
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Like, I'll probably need less rest when I'm not homeless.
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And then an acclamation period of a little while into not being homeless,
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being used to spending money, checking into a motel if I want to.
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You know, like once I'm actually like acclimated to not being homeless.
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So yeah, we crossed the line, we get the third check.
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We're not homeless now.
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Need a little bit more acclamation after that.
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And then, you know, once I'm kind of back up to,
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so the fact that I lifted weights today for the first time in a long time.
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I mean, a long time being four to six weeks.
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Because I've been starving and if you can't afford food,
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yeah, people have been giving me money too,
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but I've still got this scarcity in me when I'm between jobs.
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I don't have the regular paychecks coming in.
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Maybe being a creator will be the direction I go,
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but I think the direction that gets me to mental peace,
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biological needs being met, security needs being met.
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Then I can start thinking into loving a steam is really just having a regular job,
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like in a restaurant kitchen.
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Like being a creator, being your own boss, entrepreneur.
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You're not working less by being an entrepreneur.
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You're working more, but you keep equity in what you build.
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And there's so much upside because there's so much risk.
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There's so much potential downside.
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And so doing something safe to fund myself,
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even if donations and stuff are coming in,
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I can definitely do good with that donation money.
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But like being secure in my own unrelated income,
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feels like the path at least for the beginning until I'm secure.
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Then once I've got, like say,
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I'm in a minimum wage or two minimum wage jobs worth of creator income
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that I can quit my restaurant job and then I'm all in.
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But I think I just need to do the split thing until I've got
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enough income coming in as a creator.
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So I mean, keep it coming.
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If you want to keep donating, it will go to a good use.
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But if you want to donate to people in immediate need,
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by all means skip over me because I'm not in immediate need right now.
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I definitely appreciate everything.
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You know, it's, there's begging and busking.
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And I think what I am okay doing long term is busking.
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Busking is like sitting on the side of the road with a guitar,
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playing people throw dollars in.
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You're doing something for the money.
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You're not just like, I'm hungry.
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I need money.
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I've been there.
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Absolutely don't look down on that.
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But it's like a time limited, very short term thing.
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So.
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We'll see where the salt leads and like the next month or so.
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So.
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Thanks for joining all over the place as I was,
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but I really appreciate you and have a good weekend.
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If you're not going to watch any more until then,
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I'll probably still upload tomorrow in the day after.
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So have a good one.
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Thanks for joining.
Appendix
Venmo, Patreon: harlanji
Freelancer for hire: 90 day intro rate of $16/hr for Senior Dev or Fractional CTO services;
Functional Resume: https://pastebin.mozilla.org/gBTZ1dum
Hogumathi Brand Page, Products, etc: https://hogumathi.glitch.me/brand/ispoogedaily.html
Thanks for watching.
Supporter Comments: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=50
Email: ispoogedaily@gmail.com
Thinking about working and consuming fine products, artisanship. Ways to realize new ideas with limited time, methods to capture ideas in the dish pit. How empathy and reading energy can make checking email difficult, wanting to give due care and process things in a fair order. Acclimation periods, expectations, options. Just treating the channel like therapy in a sense.
Thanks for joining.
Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwfav-nLT-Q
Transcript
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Yo and welcome to the iSpoog daily channel.
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This is an experimental tech and media brand and last month I decided I would upload
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10 videos and the videos were popular and I've kept on doing it.
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A lot of the videos, I have no idea what I'm going to talk about when I start the video.
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Stuff comes out and it's kind of therapeutic for me.
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I don't need to do it but it does feel nice to have quote unquote somebody to talk to.
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It does feel not good knowing that I'm not listening.
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I'm not checking the emails.
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I was in box zero at the beginning of the year but a few emails that I got just sort of
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of maybe want to put time into the response and that made me delay checking again and
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now it's been like two weeks and I'm not checking my email still.
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And I could probably as you guys can guess do that instead of uploading these videos.
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I'd say that total time I spend on these videos is 30 minutes per day and the emails that
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I did respond to could have taken 15 to 20 minutes to write the response.
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I don't edit it super hard but I also don't want to send it without do care.
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And I can only hope that people understand these are videos of a homeless guy uploading
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stuff and there are certain assumptions I think people make about people with a social media presence
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related to how much wealth they have.
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I don't have a cell phone.
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I don't have internet access.
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Hence I was being at the library in the parking lot.
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I can't record inside the library but I can record in the parking lot and I'm still within
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Wi-Fi range.
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I don't come here after dark or before lights.
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Maybe like in the shortest of short days I might be here for a little while after dark
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or a little while before lights but other than that you know that's like a month or two per
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you know I'm new to this town as well.
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Library is also only open four days a week as well and if it's a holiday we can
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might be closed one or two more days so it's really closed a lot.
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And now that it's closed the background noise kind of gone I can open up my windows a little bit.
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But yeah so as far as the experimental tech you can see that all at the beginning of the channel.
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Like while I was still in my apartment I was going every day with the live hacking
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streams and you know whiteboard exploring topics on a whiteboard.
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Videos where I share some ideas about software architecture etc.
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You know being that that's my main field of expertise that I worked in for well over two decades.
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And it's still I feel my field of expertise but I obviously don't well I can't say obvious.
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I look like a pretty normal software engineer on video.
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But yeah I am definitely homeless I just put a lot of energy into.
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Yeah I worked with great marketing teams and you know in general product people.
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Both in software and even in hospitality and food I've been a customer at great hospitality and food places so.
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I do have an eye for fineness and detail and.
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Artisanship like.
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It shows when people put great love into their work.
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Not all work needs great love put into it but work with great love put into it stands out.
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And matching energy matching vibration I stand out to a lot of people for some reason.
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And I can't see it within myself.
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Other people see it within me I believe them when they say that it's there.
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I may not know what it is whatever but.
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You know being that there's been so much of a vibrational match between me and fine things in life.
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I can definitely believe that there's a fineness to myself.
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You know no argument there I don't know what it is.
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Good lord so many ideas for things to talk to so I work in a dish.
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In the kitchen I.
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You know I do some food prep as well but I work in the dish pit for the most part and that's.
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I the only place I'd rather be is in the software engineering equivalent of the dish pit.
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You know data engineering something like that what I used to do.
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But if I can't do that put me in the dish pit.
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You know.
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But yeah I mean I could bring a voice memo into the dish pit for example.
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I'd want to dedicate it one that I bring to the workplace that no personal notes end up on the device.
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I'm having worked in big tech I'm pretty.
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Adamant on separating my devices home and work.
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Might not be a big deal in a dish pit but I'd rather just not bring my personal device into there.
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I mean it would be a personal device but it would be like a dedicated personal device where I you know.
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I really limit what I talk about.
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And when I talk about voice recorder so this is what I carry around on the day to day for myself.
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It's got record play pause forward back delete folder.
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Yeah and then on the side volume some menu stuff some switches a lock button and SD card slot and a data transfer wire and it does take its own.
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Batteries AAA I could get rechargeable AAA if I wanted to.
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I'm sure there's some kind of like USB plug-able AAA type battery on the market.
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I just had that idea I'm sure someone else has it must exist.
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I think USB voltage anyway.
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Kind of a tangent but yeah rechargeable option would be good.
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I've just been pretty poor up until now so I got some regular AAAs for it.
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But yeah how weird would it be for a dishwasher too.
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I record voice memos and then when I'm done with my voice memos and I go hiking or something I transcribe them to text.
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And in theory that would be input into this process but it hasn't actually been in practice yet.
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I build my own apps I've got a ton of apps that work but aren't good enough to ship.
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I'm so tired of being homeless.
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And I know the answer is gonna be well check your email then I know.
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Looks seem to be deceiving I look like a guy who would have email.
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I need one I do have email I do other things like record these videos.
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I've thought of ways to check my email.
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I know I need to be checking my emails but I'm so resistant to doing it.
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Before I got to inbox zero this year I didn't check my email like months and months at a time.
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Because if you're not expecting any emails for anything constructive like check.
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It's an opening where people can email you and you don't want to hear from them.
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And people are perfectly within their right thing you know people would be perfectly justified to throw up their hands and say well I can't work with this.
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People would be perfectly justified having that response.
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Being angry with me trying to sue me I don't know.
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It's almost the office space attitude it's not that I don't care.
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It's just that I don't even remember.
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Not a big movie guy either.
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I had some favorite movies in high school and a little beyond but I really watched movies I just filled.
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Build software.
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I do curate things to a degree.
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I'm not sure why I'm talking about this.
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But it's Friday night.
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I got nowhere to be.
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I've already worked.
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I've already worked out.
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I've already taken a shower.
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I've already given myself a haircut.
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I can go find a wife Jack.
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I mean that's pretty much what's left to do.
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I got to do my laundry.
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But you can't tell that I haven't watched this shirt in a month Kenya.
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I've worn it every day 24 hours a day.
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Sleep in it.
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I take it off and wear a different shirt for work.
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I am set to go to the laundry mat.
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I could find my wife Jack at the laundry mat.
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I haven't had alcohol since last summer.
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I could go have my first drink of the year.
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One of the guys that work studied by me a beer.
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I could go see if he's there and be like, oh, you want to buy me that beer, man.
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Now, part of living in my car means I don't really want to drink alcohol even if it's only a little bit.
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If I got a hotel room, then I'd be all down to maybe even get sloppy.
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I do think that drinking after marriage is wrong.
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I know a lot of people will disagree with that.
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See, I can't be friends with sober people.
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I can't be friends with drugs.
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I can't be friends with vegans.
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I can't be friends with non vegans.
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I can't be friends with software engineers.
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I can't be friends non software engineers.
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I just can't be friends with pretty much anyone.
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That's okay.
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It's because my views are just, they're not intentionally difficult.
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They're nuanced, but they're difficult to nuanced.
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Like if you go back about my kitchen, a terrian.
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Like, I just sound like a person with no boundaries who's like in a desperate situation.
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And yes, that's true.
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That's true.
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But that desperate situation forced me to come up with that.
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And I'm just finding a way to be at peace with the fact that like,
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okay, I got this job in a kitchen that has meats.
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And I really hate throwing stuff away, especially when I'm like 20 pounds under weight and hungry.
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I need to find a way to like, you know, to eat it.
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Yeah, I could get another job.
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It's even possible that that job was thrown onto my lap as a test.
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And I'm failing the test by not being vegan.
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It's possible that some vegans in my inbox right now trying to hire me.
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I'm not even looking.
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Does this mean I'm a reprobate, unrepentant, unremorseful?
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Kind of looks that way about veganism, doesn't it?
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Just an unremorseful non-vegan?
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I need a rest, man.
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Does that make me weak?
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I don't know what to say about all this.
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Not being reachable stuff.
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I don't want to be reachable.
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I don't want to be a creator, in fact.
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I want to make tools for creators.
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But if there's creators in my inbox right now, being like, yo,
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I saw that you want to make tools for creators.
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I need some tools, man.
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I'd be happy to get that email.
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I think the empathetic narcissist thinks that, I don't know.
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I think I just feel too bad skipping over certain emails to get to the ones I want.
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I think I'm actually too fair to check my email.
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I might be at.
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Like, I'm getting to the point where I said, you know,
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probably after my third paycheck, I won't be.
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I won't have to call myself homeless anymore.
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Like, I'll probably need less rest when I'm not homeless.
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And then an acclamation period of a little while into not being homeless,
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being used to spending money, checking into a motel if I want to.
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You know, like once I'm actually like acclimated to not being homeless.
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So yeah, we crossed the line, we get the third check.
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We're not homeless now.
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Need a little bit more acclamation after that.
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And then, you know, once I'm kind of back up to,
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so the fact that I lifted weights today for the first time in a long time.
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I mean, a long time being four to six weeks.
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Because I've been starving and if you can't afford food,
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yeah, people have been giving me money too,
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but I've still got this scarcity in me when I'm between jobs.
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I don't have the regular paychecks coming in.
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Maybe being a creator will be the direction I go,
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but I think the direction that gets me to mental peace,
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biological needs being met, security needs being met.
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Then I can start thinking into loving a steam is really just having a regular job,
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like in a restaurant kitchen.
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Like being a creator, being your own boss, entrepreneur.
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You're not working less by being an entrepreneur.
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You're working more, but you keep equity in what you build.
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And there's so much upside because there's so much risk.
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There's so much potential downside.
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And so doing something safe to fund myself,
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even if donations and stuff are coming in,
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I can definitely do good with that donation money.
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But like being secure in my own unrelated income,
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feels like the path at least for the beginning until I'm secure.
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Then once I've got, like say,
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I'm in a minimum wage or two minimum wage jobs worth of creator income
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that I can quit my restaurant job and then I'm all in.
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But I think I just need to do the split thing until I've got
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enough income coming in as a creator.
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So I mean, keep it coming.
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If you want to keep donating, it will go to a good use.
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But if you want to donate to people in immediate need,
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by all means skip over me because I'm not in immediate need right now.
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I definitely appreciate everything.
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You know, it's, there's begging and busking.
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And I think what I am okay doing long term is busking.
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Busking is like sitting on the side of the road with a guitar,
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playing people throw dollars in.
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You're doing something for the money.
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You're not just like, I'm hungry.
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I need money.
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I've been there.
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Absolutely don't look down on that.
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But it's like a time limited, very short term thing.
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So.
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We'll see where the salt leads and like the next month or so.
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So.
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Thanks for joining all over the place as I was,
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but I really appreciate you and have a good weekend.
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If you're not going to watch any more until then,
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I'll probably still upload tomorrow in the day after.
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So have a good one.
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Thanks for joining.
Appendix
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