HarlanJI Forum

Description


Video



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkYeCsD-Q7A

Transcript

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Yo, and welcome to the Ice Village Daily Channel.

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This is an experimental tech and media brand.

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We're doing daily 20 minute videos.

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Usually homeless guy, rages, explains, yada yada.

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And, yeah, hopefully won't be homeless too long.

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You might be able to see. I've done my laundry.

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And, yeah, I also cleaned out clean the windows

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and the dashboard of the car, which I usually do at the laundry mat.

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And, yeah, I just slips when I don't have the proper place to do it.

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You know, like, I don't do things like clean my car

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in the library parking lot where I am now.

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Libraries closed after five.

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And, on Sunday Monday Wednesday.

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So, yeah, so I got off work.

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An hour ago, scheduled to get off at 330,

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but it was like super busy.

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And, I breaks where an order.

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So, I got to stay for next hour, which is

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too a lot of people, oh man, that sucks me into the dirt.

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To me, I want to get as many hours as I can.

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Why? Because I'm paid by the hour.

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It doesn't mean I'm like, going slow.

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And, you know, no, it's just, I work as fast as I can.

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But, if it's too much work, then I'm happy to stay and finish it.

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You know?

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So, I was thinking, well, okay.

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Today, I got dinner, and I've got a red bowl.

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And, I might go to Starbucks.

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But, yeah, they get into my, my, my manic skits

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so state with the red bowl in the coffee.

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I'm not too coffeeed up now.

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I had coffee like at nine o'clock.

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I was drinking it.

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My last, my last one, my first one.

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That I got at star, or no, I actually didn't leave with it.

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I just left Starbucks at like 830 to go to work.

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I didn't get another coffee today.

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So, I'm actually less caffeinated than usual.

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But, yeah, then I ended up staying up until late last night.

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Just because I was in the back of the car with all my laundry.

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Like, okay.

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Where were we going to start?

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So, I was going to start off by talking about

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Buhu.

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I'm an engineer, and people don't, you know.

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Buhu.

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People don't understand that I know physics,

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and blah, blah, blah.

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Like, when I'm at work, if I'm doing something weird,

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I've worked in a lot of different kitchens as a dishwasher,

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but not food prep, and people seem to have the impression that,

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like, I'm this, not in a bad way,

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but just complete, rookie, like, nose, nothing.

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Maybe even no sense, like.

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There's not a care to figure out where I am.

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It's just assumed that I'm a kindergarten.

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And part of that is something that I really struggled with

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when I first moved to San Francisco.

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Was, okay, I grew up labor.

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So, this is the three-letter social class thing.

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So, I grew up labor.

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I went to community college, university.

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I got into gentry as working in software engineering,

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and maybe got into elite even.

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But then when I got kicked out of elite,

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horrified gentry, and labor wouldn't take me back.

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I became under class homeless.

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That's where I am.

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So, people in all of those classes are going to treat me like,

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I know buddy, I know I'm not human.

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You know, some of them might treat me more human than others,

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but overall, I'm a person without value.

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Incorporations are persons too, so they don't have to be emotional,

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feeling, you know, whatever.

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It's just a corporate entity.

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His what a person is.

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Human might be its own thing.

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We're spiritual beings having a human experience.

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But anyway.

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So, it's just like, I didn't understand why

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the labor people who I was comfortable with were dismissive, like,

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you know, people who worked at bars and stuff that I went to.

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I went to a lot of bars with live music.

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That's all going to be labor people.

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Maybe a little bit of gentry too.

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Maybe just a little bit.

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Like if people are students in grad school or whatever.

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Like gentry, flavor, labor, about that.

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But yeah, so it's like, I'm college educated, so it should be kind of gentry.

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But labor people don't have a lot of respect for the gentry in general.

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Like, there's a few who make, you know, who climb,

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but most people are just happy and labor.

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So, you know, there's people who basically know that their entire lives are just going to be working.

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I shouldn't say just going to be.

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Their whole lives are going to be working in restaurant kitchens or whatever.

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And that's, you know, maybe being a head chef at a restaurant or, you know,

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there's like plenty of room to grow.

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But there's just a lack of foresight for the future.

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Like, people do, you know, it's just dumb stuff.

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Like, not investing in your future.

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Careless, reckless stuff.

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That gives, like, lots of them have been to prison, for example, to jail.

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And it doesn't matter.

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It doesn't affect anything, like.

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That's their choice, but it also kind of limits their future.

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And I'm a person who's, like, super into growth and evolving as much as possible.

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You know, it shows with how far I've moved.

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But yeah, people like that are not going to be like, oh, cool.

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You're really good at stacking all those dishes.

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Those dishes.

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Trey is super intricately.

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I did, like, I've got sense when I do it about, like,

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stability, you know, the, the stable and unstable equilibrium of stuff.

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If it's at rest, it's either trying to fall down or trying to stay where it is.

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Like, I have plenty of sense when I, when I stack stuff because I understand physics.

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But it just doesn't matter.

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Like, no one's interested.

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They're just, like, don't stack that stuff.

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Who won't want it to fall?

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And I'm, how can you argue with that?

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I can't.

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So that's just, like, a little thing.

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And I'm not even, so my approach isn't to be like, they don't, you know,

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the medium of the guy standing in the corner at the party.

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Like, they don't even know that I have physics background.

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But whatever.

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And of course, the gentry person would say, that's not sure domain.

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That was just a prerequisite to your computer science degree, Yadiyada.

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So it's like, the labor don't care.

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My approach is just to, to say, okay, I use it as a, a prompt to make myself better in a way, like,

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conforming to the way people usually do things is pretty important.

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And so, like, yeah, I've got a lot of dish experience.

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But these people, it's like their career.

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And that doesn't mean that they, you know, a lot of them probably worked in a dish pit at one point.

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On their way to where they are now, and that's cool.

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But there's not like a curiosity for, like, you know, other things I do, like,

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so it's something that a dish,

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so I've been in a lot of different places, like doing a lot of different hands on stuff.

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So one thing I, I did, that was amazing was, you know, there was a big pan with burnt on stuff.

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And, like, no one could get it off.

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But then when given a chisel, I was able to figure out how to get, like, a mallet, like, a, you know, like, it just shipped right off.

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And that's not necessarily something someone, with just a bunch of kitchen experience would know,

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that there's like painting or garage experience or something anyway.

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So it's like no one's really impressed or cares or whatever, but it's like small wind for me.

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So I can use my background and get those small winds and productivity gains.

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But like, if someone learns a new way to do something from me, they're not going to give me credit for it, you know.

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That's okay. It's just something I have to be okay with.

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Like, I'm viewed as an outsider.

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Like, I'm not, I'm not partying with these people, like, I'm not.

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I would like to be friendly with them, but I'm, I'm just not sharing an existence with them in a lot of ways.

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That's okay.

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I forgot we got dinner getting cold.

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We're going to grab napkins, but I have plenty of sauce from prior visits, and I might have some napkins.

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So yeah, I mean, I just have to be okay knowing that, okay, I'm an outsider here.

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Like, I'm not investing in making, you know.

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My career is what I do outside of work.

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Since I can't work in tech anymore, since...

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I think the fun to get some accountability from my manager, Rob McDonald Smith of Opentable.

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I don't know if he still works, there I have no idea.

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But when you take on management responsibilities, your name gets sad.

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So anyway.

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Right, 12 minutes, what else is I thinking about?

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So yeah, nobody is going to view me as human.

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They might treat me decent. I mean, people treat dogs decent.

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Hmm.

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What else? There are at least a few directions I was going to go.

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That's actually, yeah, really lame topic.

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Something else, so, as, okay, now I'm doing new things, I'm getting new food, I've got...

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After, like, a few weeks of making food at the park every day.

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Like, I just feel like I'm seeing through a new set of eyes in some ways.

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Like, I'm seeing new spots I could stop in, like, recorded video quick.

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Because as I become a non-homeless person, it's going to look less and less weird for me to sit in the parking lot.

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Like, just having clean windows and stuff.

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And, like, I cleaned all the bird crap off the outside of the car.

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And it's like, it's not a small change.

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I'm thinking about just straight up getting the whole car.

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Like, look at this. I've got hope. I've got dreams. I've got things I want to do.

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It's not beaten out of me.

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Two of these for $5 is not the worst.

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It's a little bit cheaper if I make it myself, but it's a lot more filling if I make it myself.

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But, this is fine.

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I'm really looking forward to just getting a life that I'm...

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The boss of in some ways, like, not just constantly blowing, blowing here and there with whatever, you know, the wind does to me.

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All it takes is money. Like, it's not that hard. I don't know why people are so, you know?

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Like, what's the problem other than money with people, homeless people?

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Oh, do I guys dismantle you?

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No, that's... Oh, no, okay.

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We're not going to do this topic justice with the time we have left, but...

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Let's say, you know, I said you're in talk about things abstractly like.

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I've mentioned gang stocking, and so I have the laundry mat.

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Some guy approached me, and I'm pretty sure he was some kind of informant or cop or some, but something.

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Because it's just the way that they approach, I mean, I can't say they, so I can't say it's happened multiple times.

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But once again, it's like a love bombing type of thing, with, like, asking more like, super personal demographic questions.

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And I just feel like that's not natural or normal.

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Like, this guy sitting here, like, being super critical of law enforcement, talking about these on all kinds of lists,

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and he's got all these bad experiences with cops, and it's like, I feel like he was trying to get me to talk about dislike for cops, or, you know what I'm saying?

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Like, almost a provocateur, you know, agent provocateur, like trying to, you know, dial me up or get me, you know, saying negative things so that now I'm profiled and, you know,

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confirmed need to be on some kind of list, whatever.

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I'm thinking too about, like, the guy, the social, if you're on lists, like, you're not going to be a social butterfly, like, running around talking to everybody.

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It's like the exact same thing as the guy who camps at the library.

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Like, what's he doing just running around talking to everybody, like, you know, like, if I didn't have something going on in my life,

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just not feel at ease, like, socializing, like, hence, just completely ignoring, like, emails and stuff like that, as I'm just, like, trying to get my life together, like,

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to me sitting and having conversations with people that's not going to lead anywhere.

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Like, oh, just because I enjoy people's company, you know what, no, like, let's, let's make it go somewhere.

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So let's have an agenda.

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So yeah, I really don't want to just talk to random people who approach me, but then, I know I'm really not going to do this part justice,

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but I bet when guys approach women, like, part of why they're so good about just shutting down conversation with people they don't want to talk to

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because they've probably had the same dirty feeling as me of just like, I really didn't want to tell this person all this stuff,

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but like, they just came in and like, they had like an agenda and they were, you know, pushy.

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And it's sort of like, you, it's hard to just like shut somebody down, but sometimes you got to do it.

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So anyway, there were like a huge, hugely disjoint set of topics today, but we showed up, everyone can't be great.

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Like, I can't actually can't get on the internet right now, so I gotta figure that out.

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But thanks for joining and I'll post this when I can and I'll, I'm looking forward to seeing you next time.

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Take care, thanks a lot.

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Bye.



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