Homeless Guy recognizes Narcissistic Abuse. Discussion Forum online.

[iSpoogeDaily]

Description

Recognizing narcissistic behavior in retrospect, using knowledge of the phases from idealization, love bombing, devaluation and discard. Connecting corporate security and algorithmic bullying, a key motivation for building my platform, with narcissistic abuse patterns.

Thinking about channel format, and no doubt there's some built in programming that has be being extra vigilant in order to avoid giving info to weaponize to narcissistic. They're simply black holes and most of us are suns... they want our mass, we gotta deny them it.

Video



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAo37KmtWk0

Transcript

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Yo, and welcome to the Ice Booge Daily Channel.

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It's Friday, 4.55 pm, and yeah, yesterday's video was super weird.

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Thanks for your patience there, but that was just a pure expression of intuition.

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Now, today's intuition is that remember how I raged out over being outed as a vegetarian?

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It turns out the reason for that wildness.

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Now, the issue is persisting.

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This isn't a gossip channel, this blah blah blah.

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It's an experimental tech and media brand, multi-platform, yada yada.

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And anyway, so once again, telling other people my preferences,

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I then trying to argue with me about our preferences as though it's just now, like,

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it's trying to start arguments with me in front of Pete.

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What does this sound like to you guys?

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Narcissistic abuse.

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Now, the source of narcissism, I can't say, but...

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Narcissism is deep in our shame that can't be resolved, that you need to cope through external manipulations

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and whatnot, like you can't find peace internally, so you cope by trying to get control externally

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it's demonic in origin, it's like witchcraft, and so that's exactly what it is.

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I did not argue.

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I almost did, but it's like, even just the logistics of arguing, like,

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other person right next to somebody as they're like,

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side channel talking about me and my preferences and shouting to me what my preferences are.

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This isn't necessarily supposed to be like, oh, drama at work, dada da.

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But it's just because I talk about narcissistic abuse on this channel, I just put my finger on

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what was so bothersome about this now.

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It extends into other areas of life too, like, something else, like,

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feeling bad about coming on to the stream, even though, you know, this is like

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20 minutes of just fire upload, forget.

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And now I'm sitting on emails from y'all, thank you so much for reaching out and

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pardon, you know, my not getting back to them even though I keep coming on here

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day after day. Now, for most of you, it's not going to be a problem, and I don't need to feel bad.

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Where I just realized, okay, there's been programming in the past of, you know,

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I've got my channels, people meet me through channels, and then we're going to collaborate on

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something, and then they start trying to make me feel guilty for continuing to post before I reply

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to them, as though I owe them top priority responses for everything because we're collaborating

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or whatever, you know, no, I don't. That's also narcissistic abuse that I didn't realize,

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but that's also like a formative thing that happens time after time after time, just unrecognized as such.

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There was a super cool motorhome, hey, and so the fact that I'm getting on here and posting

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recording and posting these videos, it doesn't mean that during this exact time I could

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reply to even one email, 20 minutes. That's a pretty maybe some people can do it, but you know,

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I actually, I was thinking about maybe doing it tonight. I don't know, I just, but it just hit me like

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a ton of bricks that this, this feeling about the vegetarianism, no, it's, it's because

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like at first there was the sort of ideation phase where they like love bomb you, they learn everything,

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they're receptive, they're talking you up, they're this and that, but then it goes into a devaluation

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where they start breaking you down, chipping away at you, dot, dot, dot, dot, turning other people

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against you. And so now there's, we're in the devaluation phase already after just a couple

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weeks with this person, which means this job is over, unless I can figure out a way around narcissistic abuse.

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And I, I hate calling it that, like, like, if my boss were to see this, it would just be a

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misunderstanding, oh, you know, and I get it, like that's how most people are, like most people,

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it would be a misunderstanding, but narcissists weaponize these little shows of empathy, these

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little humble yourself moments, just humble yourself to the narcissist. No, I know this feeling.

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I'll do my best to work around it, but I'll, what can you do?

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Like, it's relief to know that that's what I'm dealing with. I know that I know now,

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but it's also just the dread of like, oh gosh, like, it's good that I know what I'm dealing with,

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because, you know, maybe knowing it's all those little arguments that they start with you that

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starts to turn people against you, probably more so than a lot of things. So,

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like, in a way, it's like, ah, I'm being abused by a narcissist, but it's a new page,

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thank goodness, because I've been abused by so many narcissists that I know what I'm dealing with now.

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Woohoo. Meanwhile, I'm still being abused by a narcissist and abused or attacked in this context

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attacked because it's not a boss. Abuse requires a power imbalance. One could say that there's a

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power imbalance for like, protected classes of people. Like, I don't want to give exact details about

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who's who blah, blah, blah. It's not that kind of channel. It's just trying to, you know,

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tie real life examples in what this theory and, you know, these narcissistic abuse videos get a lot of

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views as well. And I'm not a victim. I can, you know, this, that means boom, I pause. I find the next

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step and I put in my two-week notice instead of waiting until I have to quit and then walking off.

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That's what I usually do because I'm like, oh, because you get so far down into the woodchipper

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and there's no crawling out of the woodchipper. So it's like, I put in my two-week notice. If I'm

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being abused by a boss, it's only going to get worse. If I put in my notice and tell the team,

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it's only going to get worse. If you put in your notice to HR and you're like, don't tell anybody,

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like, I'm just going to be out of here in two weeks, then it might be okay. Because here,

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my boss is great. My boss would, I don't want to make the white knight or make the white knight.

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Well, you can figure out what that is about to say. I don't want to make this a drama channel and,

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you know, maybe my boss is street smart about narcissism or whatever, but it's like, how do you

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I'm not really asking unless someone definitely knows firsthand from experience worked for them,

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level knows. You know, you figure out that your co-worker is a narcissist and they feel shame,

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whatever they're going to chip away at you. They're going to try to turn people against you.

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They're going to weaponize everything possible against you, including your dietary preferences,

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which yes. In a kitchen, it makes a lot of sense to tell my co-workers, because they're like

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receptive, they get it, understanding, blah, blah, blah. Unless they're in our system, they won't,

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they'll weaponize it against you. And again, I, can I say a narcissist or very narcissistic?

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Probably very narcissistic is all I can say. Because narcissistic behavior can have many causes.

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It can be, you know, how they were raised. Either they were super spoiled or super abused.

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Or it could just be a power imbalance thing. Like the case system, people are just

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born into the middle case, and I know everyone at the lower case is inferior for this reason.

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Like everything that they see reinforces this idea of inherent superiority. And so,

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they might not be a narcissist, they might be extremely empathetic to people within their

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case, but to lower people, they're going to seem extremely narcissistic. So yeah,

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this is like a solid one. I could mix it up with a bunch of other stuff like, okay, this

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morning, I had some ideas and I put them on to here. And after I got off work, I had some ideas

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and put them on to here. Something really interesting happened after work and I put it on to here.

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So now my process is typically in the morning, download these wave files is how they're

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encoded onto the laptop. That's like raw, how do we put it? It's like, it's lossless, it's pre-MP3,

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it's like, it's exactly what you'd pull off the CD. Every CD rip it as the same bits. MP3, you

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could encode the same one two times, it's lossy, so you'll get two different results. I know

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what does that matter? It doesn't. So pull the wave files off of here, I guess just trying to give

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context in case you really don't know. So put the wave files off of here and then do the

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transcription of a bunch of them and then delete them off of here. Now I've got all these transcripts

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and wave files. So I can like text search what I'm, so this is what I don't do yet. That's my

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process. So I've got all these wave files and transcripts. Now I'm not doing anything with them.

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What I could do is like make themes where I just search the transcripts for certain words,

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ideas, whatever. And then find everything that I've done related to that idea, find the useful ones,

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arrange them, create some kind of video presentation, maybe create like a high level thing where I

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quote myself or I just use the ideas and just make like a list of bullet points on argument like

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an outline for an essay and go over it. Boom. So that'd be a format change. So we've talked

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about a little bit of the practical narcissistic abuse examples, discovering a new example,

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relating it to some previous, why do I feel this way sort of things? And we went on to talk about

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just unrelated completely organization of this post of this channel. So yeah. So type revisiting

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yesterday's post. You know, the system, these corporate security offices, whatever,

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they act narcissistically against people that they're pursuing as well. It could even be just

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private security company who you've hired to follow somebody around like,

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I don't have as solid of a claim. Now, when I was meticulously documenting the way

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Moan counters that I was talking about. But now there's, there's a new, like I just don't,

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I just don't want to give any details. Because just like narcissists, they have an inner void

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instead of an inner fire. So instead of radiating, they're consuming and instead of sons,

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they're black holes. So I'm a son. I think most of you guys would agree with that. And so

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it should be plain as day. Everywhere I go, the black hole that needs to feed off of sons is going

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to zip right into me. I'm not saying I'm the only son. Most people are probably more

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probably very dull sons, more than very dull black holes. Because the black hole

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is going to have an insatiable hunger, where a dim son isn't going to be,

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it's more like a neutral steady state.

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So how does this relate to the channel?

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Most of you are sons. Most of you are radiant. Maybe you just don't realize it. But if you're

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seeking out narcissistic abuse videos, you are a son, even if you're a girl. Play on words.

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But see now, I could get thrown off the internet because I miss gendered and they don't get

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it. There's no joke in about that. You call it everyone. You call it every girl who watches

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your channel a son. That's misgendering. Oh, not a plan. But I'm not. So, oh yeah, so here's a big one.

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Oh, good Lord. So how does this tie in with the channel? Okay, so

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this might actually tie it together. So I have a private forum that you can register for.

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It is approved registration. So I need to approve the registration.

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Now if I recognize you, I'll add you to an ice mooch daily supporters group. And that means you can

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post an engage. So something I'll do, it might not be right away. But I'll post a video.

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I'll do the transcript for that video. It takes about 10 minutes on a 20 minute video.

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Same process as this. I just run it on the video file, which has an embedded audio track,

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wave, or whatever compressed format. MP3, whatever, doesn't matter. We're running out of time.

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We've got like three and a half minutes. So the last two videos, I've posted threads for

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and on Twitter, I've posted a link to that thread. And this morning, I set it up so that

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only I can post a new topic. But you guys can post replies. And you can't edit your replies.

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You can only request that the replies be deleted, basically, softly. And this is because, yes,

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so maybe you, okay, corporations are going to act like narcissists, basically. So the same

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cycle of narcissistic abuse can play out depending on how valuable you are to the company.

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So Google has demonstrated in the past that they're willing to,

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first of all, they're monitoring my Twitter. And they're willing to limit my account

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based on what I tweet. This is 2018, I noticed this. Now, they've been surfacing me a lot lately.

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And that's great. Thank you so much. Whatever the reason is, that's awesome. But now, if I sit here

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and get critical about their other brands, waymo, YouTube, even be, you know, talking about setting up

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my own platform. Now we're in kind of threatening to their bottom line territory again.

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I'm telling you, your powerful creators, I'm showing you how to self-host stuff leading by

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example. Took forever to build a platform. Was it because I was being debusted,

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whatever, by the algorithms? One of the first videos I talked about on here is algorithmic bullying.

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Was that what was happening? It's extremely hard to prove. Just like narcissists, they operate

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behind closed doors. They find their scapegoats, victims, supply behind closed doors. Well, the reason

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first of all, it takes energy to moderate comments. Second of all, I put in just an

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emasculated position of having YouTube as a moderator and having them able to shut down the whole

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platform if things get too out of hand from what they would like to see the discussion go. So if you

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come to my server, now I get logs of IP addresses and everything. But that means that if I have

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a problem with something, I can take it into my own hands instead of having to, you know, appeal

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to some company who I'm not even a paying customer of, you know, YouTube. This just puts all

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moderation everything in my hands. And as far as syncing with YouTube, comments, et cetera, et cetera,

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no plans. I'm just thinking, you know, put the power into my hands and that could be polarizing

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either way. But if there's going to be a discussion, that's how it's going to be. So people have

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supported the channel. If they register, they can participate in the discussions. And that'll be the

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bottom link above the email in every video and the last two videos going for back. And maybe we can

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revisit some of the popular videos. So we're going on 20 minutes. Thanks so much for joining. I know

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this one was a little bit all over and I tried to tie it together. But thanks for your patience. Good

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to see you. And thanks for this porters. I'll definitely call you out in due time. I'm thinking about

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how to do that. So thanks. Looking forward to seeing you next time. Bye.


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